Boogity, boogity, boogity...

Well we managed to get there on time, at least!

We left home at 4.30am, got to work and headed off to the airport. Departed London at 7.20am, arrived in Oslo 2 hrs later and, finally, after three painful hours trying not to exceed the ludicruous 80km/h speed limit arrived back on site… to find the missing parts had not been delivered! We did find a small amount of snagging to do but quickly ended up running out of jobs.

Despite numerous assurances that the lorry was en route to us, nothing arrived, and we finally gave up and checked into the hotel at 9.30pm. We then went over the road for a pizza and a beer and, an hour later, as we were walking back to the hotel we finally spotted what we’d been oh so patiently waiting all day to see; a lorry driver backing onto our site! So, god knows how many hours after we left home, it was back to the hotel room to change into our work clothes again and then out in the pouring rain to unload a lorry. If there’s one thing more surreal than unloading a lorry at 11pm, it’s unloading a lorry at 11pm — in broad daylight. Freaking bizaare!

So, instead of an early morning blast to the airport and home in time for dinner, we had to set the alarm for horribly early o’clock so that we could finally put this job to bed.

We both woke earlier than planned and started work at 5am. Finally finished at 11am and, after a quick shower, raced to the airport to sort out how the hell we were getting home. There were three flights going out to Heathrow but the only space was in business class at $500 each. Desperate to get out of the country and back home, we coughed up. Nice flight, huge comfy seats, nice food and we even had emergency exit seats. I’ve never been so comfortable on a plane! Still, paying as much for a 2 hour flights across Europe as a 12 hour flight to the west coast of the USA, you’d hope so.

The most annoying thing about the delay, apart from the extra costs, was that we’d miss the FA Cup Final which was kicking off at 3pm at the new Wembley Stadium. But, as we circled west London, waiting for a landing slot at Heathrow, we flew over the stadium four times and had an even better view of the game than those who’d paid hundreds of Pounds for a ticket!

So now, finally, I’m back home in the UK. This’ll be the fourth night in the past four weeks that I’ve slept in my own bed After so many months when I’d longed to get out of the country and go someplace interesting, I find myself longing to spend time at home, being boring! Thank you, Norway, and goodnight.

We treated ourselves to a small lie-in before going down for breakfast. After seeing off the two Swedes , and eating, we had to get the (part) job signed off but tracking down the guy that we wanted was easier said than done which wasn’t improving our mood. Nor was the third day of torrential rain. I had been surprised by the weather for the first couple of days, but my previous image of Norway had indeed lived up to expectation in the end. It was even more miserable than Manchester on a cold rainy night in December.

After sign-off we pretty much had the day to ourselves so decided to head back to the airport and find a hotel nearby. The Swedes had told us how they had been to Lillehammer and gone to the top of the ski-jump tower that they had used in the 1992 Winter Olympics, so we decided to go have a look for ourselves. It took some finding but, eventually, we found our way to the top of the mountain and found the tower. Although we were actually stood in the thick clouds, the view down the slope was terrifying. It was scary enough looking down it so I cannot imagine what drives anyone to strap two wooden boards to their feet and career down it whilst it’s covered in snow. They obviously have a screw loose.

We found a (very expensive - I’m glad I’m not paying the bills) hotel right outside Oslo Gardermoen Airport and, after checking ourselves in, we decided to head into Oslo to kill some time. Once again my co-driver was on top form but, this time, not only was he unable to read a map but, having driven round and round (and having almost gotten rammed by a tram) he started to sulk and generally act like a small child. How grown up! So, in the end, I gave up with Oslo and drove us back to the hotel and left him to get on with it whilst I sat in my room and started to drink the mini bar dry!

We’re flying home tomorrow - Fantastic. With a capital F! The bad news is that I’m coming back on Friday. Gee, can’t wait! Still, at least I’m not paying for it. Forgetting to load the parts cost someone $2000 in shipping and return flights. I’m not sure if it was ‘us’ or the factory who’ll be paying but… it ain’t me, so I’m happy at that!

After the success of our previous night out, our two Swedish helpers had decided to head into Lillehammer in search of some fun, so we decided to start late. It was a Sunday, after all. It proved to be the final day of construction, a landmark that was reached with great cheer, as it had been raining all day once again,. We were still missing a list of parts but we had finally got our office to organise for them to be freighted in. They wouldn’t be arriving in time for us to fit them before we left for home, so I would be returning in a weeks time.

The Swedes were originally going to make a run for home but, being hungover yet again, they delayed their 10-hour drive until the next morning. We decided that we would also head off the next morning, to spend the day looking round Oslo. It’d be nice to get the hell out of the hotel we’ve been based at for the past few days, but we’d take the opportunity to have a few drinks and say good bye to our new found friends. After working so hard for so long it seemed a bit of an anticlimax that we had to leave the job half-finished.

The day started late due to an almighty hangover but I made it down to the site at around 830am. I was the first to arrive! We were still without power and it was 10am before someone arrived with a generator so progress was very slow. And then the weather turned on us, when a snow flurry rolled in and carpeted the area with a layer of the white stuff. Then it started to rain. Heavily. It was miserable, really miserable. Kinda what I’d expected Norway to be all along.

After dinner, which, believe it or not consisted of elk burgers (which are fantastic), things started to look up and we got a good solid afternoon of work in before heading off in the car to explore again. I took off north along the E6 with no particular destination, just to see where I ended up but, if I’ve ever endured a more boring drive, I cannot remember it. Sure the scenery was pretty but there was really no more to the road than water, hills, log piles and speed cameras. I really really hope that it was the sun glinting on the lens and not it taking a happy snap. I guess I’ll find out in the next few weeks but, as Norway isn’t part of the EU, I’d think it should be just a fine rather than points. I hope. After an hour I got bored and headed back to the hotel for my tea. This time I had reindeer stew. It was really rather nice, but I guess Santa won’t be delivering to me this year when he finds out.

Work progressed down on the jobsite, the only interesting part of the day being when we had to fire the two Polish guys we had with us. For being generally useless and getting in the way. I felt bad about that but our client had work for them on another site near Oslo and decided to drop them at the train station and arranged for someone to meet them the other end. They never got off the train and were not heard from again, so there are presumably now two bemused Polish guys wandering around Oslo in a daze, unable to speak English or Norwegian and without any money or their passports. I do hope they’ve not ended up banged up!!

In the evening, after I had returned from another drive up into the mountains where I’d stood quite comfortably in my T shirt surrounded by snow, a very odd experience, I headed back and we popped over to the bar opposite our hotel for a quiet drink. We were joined by three Swedes, an Italian and an Irishman off of our site and it didn’t stay quiet for long. I haven’t been that drunk for a LONG time!! It turned out to be a fantastic evening which will be long remembered for the ridiculously expensive drink and the fantastic looking local women!